


Four AM

by sardonicat



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: M/M, bmc, boyf riends — Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-10
Updated: 2017-11-10
Packaged: 2019-01-31 11:36:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12681102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sardonicat/pseuds/sardonicat
Summary: "...the nights that the squip could muster enough energy to whisper its disapproval in Jeremy’s head never failed to break Michael’s heart..."In which Jeremy wakes up on a bad squip night and Michael makes it all okay.





	Four AM

**Author's Note:**

> hello friends! before i begin, i have to mention that this mini fic was partially inspired by this:  
> ( http://oceaii.tumblr.com/post/166958345764/sometimesa-date-is-dennys-at-4am ). it's extremely cute so i suggest you go have a look before or after you read! 
> 
> also: i wrote/edited most of this while listening to this:  
> ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mym2nryFuAY ) little piece of music i found, and i think it fits the mood really well so i recommend listening to it while you read!
> 
> finally: this is my First bmc fic (and the first time I've written anything that wasn't for school in 3-4 years), and i didn't want to bother anyone to beta read, so please please please let me know what you think so i can improve in the future. happy reading!

Michael’s eyes fluttered open, gently pulling him from a dream he was already beginning to forget. Confusion set in as he slowly shifted into an upright position, because rather than being met with the expected glow of morning seeping through the curtains, the room was dark and moonlight painted the suggestion of his surroundings. He reached for his phone and squinted against the bright light as he turned it on to check the time: 3:47 AM.

He groaned and was about to settle his head back on the pillow when a muffled noise cut through the silence, disturbing the stillness hanging in the air. Michael immediately sat back up in concern, recognizing the sound that had woken him up. “Jeremy?” he whispered, internally cursing himself for just now noticing that the space next to him was empty. He cautiously peered over the opposite side of the bed where, sure enough, his boyfriend sat on the floor hugging his knees to his chest. Jeremy’s hand, tucked into the sleeve of the oversized t-shirt he wore, was pressed tightly to his mouth, doing little to mask the unmistakable sound as another sob wracked the smaller boy’s body.

“S-sorry for waking you up, M-Michael,” Jeremy stammered, swiping furiously at the droplets speckling his face. Michael was on the floor with him in a heartbeat, cradling his head into the side of his neck, where he began to feel the tears soak into the collar of his shirt. His breath caught in his throat when Jeremy’s trembling hands grasped at his own. He was shaking even harder than just before his first rehearsal with Christine, though this memory felt ancient as he gingerly swept his thumb back and forth over the boy’s knuckles. It was worse than usual this time.

Though it didn’t happen often, the nights that the squip could muster enough energy to whisper its disapproval in Jeremy’s head never failed to break Michael’s heart. It was excruciating to helplessly look on as the boy he loved was debilitated with guilt and self-hatred. “Did you drink it yet?” Michael whispered, cupping his hand underneath Jeremy’s face, coaxing him to meet his eyes. He felt his own tears begin to well up at the pain evident in his gaze.

Jeremy gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head and murmured, “I don’t deserve it,” before breaking eye contact to stare at the floor in shame. A single traitorous drop slipped down Michael’s face as he pressed his forehead to Jeremy’s and kissed him softly, trying with all his might to convey with his lips all the clichés his words couldn’t for the moment. _You deserve the world. I would take this pain from you in a heartbeat if I could. I love you more than you could ever know._

He slowly took his hand from Jeremy’s face, and reached under his bed to retrieve a blanket for him. “I’ll be right back,” he said, untangling himself from Jeremy and draping his slender, shivering frame with the soft fabric. He pressed his lips to the top of his head, briefly relishing the feeling of his curls brushing delicately against his cheeks, before heading to the kitchen for a Mountain Dew Red.

When he returned, Jeremy was just as he had left him. He noticed the way his knuckles turned white as he clutched the blanket around him, and Michael was hit with another wave of distress. He fumbled to remove the cap of the bottle, wordlessly passing it to Jeremy as he took his spot on the floor once again. Anxiety and dread clutched at Michael’s heart as Jeremy hesitated with the drink. He nearly reached to take it back, prepared to pour it into Jeremy’s mouth himself if he had to, but this proved unnecessary as he finally lifted the bottle to his lips and drank deeply, easing the tension in Michael’s chest. Jeremy passed the bottle back before crumpling tighter into a ball, clutching at his head and allowing a soft whimper to escape his lips. The helpless feeling returned as Michael stroked his back tenderly, waiting for it to pass. From what Jeremy said, every time he shut the squip back down, he experienced a similar pain to what he’d felt when it first activated, but the physical sensation was nothing compared to the emotional impact it had when he was able to hear it.

Jeremy’s body finally relaxed, and he slowly sat up, pushing his hair out of his face. “Better?” Michael asked softly, pulling him close into a hug. He felt him nod against his shoulder, and finally allowed himself to relax. After remaining like this for a tranquilizing moment, he pulled away, running his hands down Jeremy’s arms until he met his fingers, which intertwined with his own. “Do you think you can go back to sleep?”

Jeremy hesitated a moment, glancing around the room before offering a simple, “No…” Michael frowned. Jeremy was visibly exhausted, and all he wanted was for him to get some rest, but he knew this was always hard for him after a run-in with the squip.

“Well, is there anything else I can do to help?” Michael asked, wrapping an arm gently around his boyfriend’s waist and allowing him to tuck his head into his shoulder.

Jeremy thought for a moment before replying, “I’m actually kinda… hungry?” Michael chuckled softly, laying his cheek against Jeremy’s head and pulling him further into his side. The irony of the way the sharp bones of Jeremy’s shoulder jutted into his ribcage as he complained of hunger was not lost on him.

“Wait – “ Michael sat upright abruptly, unintentionally jostling Jeremy to the side, “I have an idea. You feeling up to going out?” he asked cautiously. He didn’t want to push Jeremy into anything after a squip incident, but he had a feeling this would help them both to put it behind them.

Jeremy cocked his head, “Michael, it’s…” he glanced at his phone, “Four in the fucking morning!” he practically yelled, prompting Michael to shush him with a giggle. He rolled his eyes and lowered his voice to a whisper, “I mean, anything would be better than just lying here not sleeping, but what the hell are we going to go do at _four in the fucking morning_.” he repeats, with heavier emphasis on the “fuck”.

Michael was glad the distraction was bringing back _his_ Jeremy, but they weren’t going anywhere if his Jeremy was so intent on being loud enough to wake his moms. “We should go to IHOP, but only if you _fucking hush_.” he suggested, mocking Jeremy’s tone.

“Let’s fucking do it!”

Michael rushed them out the door without putting in the effort to get dressed, assuming that nobody would care if the gay teenagers at IHOP at four in the morning were in baggy pajamas. The last thing Jeremy needed was to worry about how people saw him, anyway.

In the process of slinking out of the house, Michael was pretty sure he heard one of his moms getting up, but if she heard them she didn’t say anything. His moms tended to be pretty strict in the interest of his safety, but they let him bend rules when it came to Jeremy. They didn’t know any specifics of what happened with the squips, as the story was pretty outrageous so Michael didn’t bother with it. “Hey, moms? Just to let you know Jeremy was possessed by a supercomputer that looked like Keanu Reeves, but it’s okay now because I fixed it with discontinued 90s Mountain Dew,” somehow didn’t fit naturally into dinner table conversation. Still, they knew _something_ had happened, and that neither of the boys were quite the same since, so they left it well enough alone.

Jeremy shivered next to him in the slight chill of the early morning air as they reached the passenger door of the PT Cruiser. Michael pecked his cheek quickly as he unlocked the doors to let him in. On his way over to the driver’s side, he scanned Jeremy’s face through the windshield with concern, but his small smile as their eyes met was all the reassurance he needed that the worst was behind them for tonight.

It was a quiet drive, but Michael reveled in the tranquility of it. For what felt like the millionth time since Jeremy had woken up in the hospital, finally himself again, Michael took the time to notice every little detail about him: the way his dusty blonde ringlets tumbled to one side, the way the moon gleamed on his freckled cheekbones, the way his impossibly blue eyes seemed to hold the key to everything Michael had ever wanted. Warmth and gratitude radiated through his entire body as he wondered how he got so lucky for what was certainly the billionth time since they had met.

The warmth lingered as they pulled up to the restaurant and stepped inside. Surprisingly enough, Jeremy and Michael didn’t end up being the only customers in the IHOP, despite the ungodly hour, but they were sat at a fairly secluded booth, so they didn’t mind.

Jeremy was understandably quieter than usual at first, but over twelve years of experience had taught Michael well in the art of bringing Jeremy out of his shell. “Did I ever tell you about that time I was so high I thought my cat was an eevee?” he asked. Jeremy shook his head and perked up, leaning in intently to hear the rest. Michael smirked, “I got so pissed because I wanted to involve her into an umbreon, but she kept running away when I hugged her trying to ‘increase our friendship level’. I figured the next best thing was to feed her an ice cube so she’d evolve into a glaceon, and when that didn’t work I just started crying.”

Jeremy burst out laughing, an awkward, yet bright and infectious sound. Michael couldn’t help but join in, his heart swelling in his chest. These were the moments he _lived_ for, just laughing at the stupid things he did when he was high with the boy he loved while eating greasy breakfast food at four am, that’s all anyone could ask for, really.

Jeremy seemed to feel this too, the arrhythmic gasps of his laughter slowly fading into a sigh as he raised his head to meet Michael’s eyes. “Thank you… Not for anything in particular just, thank you. For always being around, for knowing how to make… it,” he vaguely motioned to his head, “better, for having my back when I’m at my worst and.. and… just…” he rambled, absentmindedly fiddling with his shirtsleeves before suddenly going still and grabbing Michael’s hands with startling urgency. “I love you.” he half-whispered. It wasn’t the first time he had said it, but with Jeremy every time he said it was just as thrilling and breathtaking as the very first.

“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> i assume most of you were sent he(e)re from my tumblr, since i technically wrote this as thanks for 200 followers there (thank you!!!!), but if not i'm @whyamiheere ( https://whyamiheere.tumblr.com/ ), stop by and say hi! thanks for reading (◠‿◠✿)
> 
> \- mik (aka the potential computer science major who doesn't even know how to make links do the thing, whoops sorry)


End file.
